


Are You Proud Of Me, Master?

by Wolfcry22



Series: Learning Curve [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Communication Failure, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt Obi-Wan Kenobi, Hurt Qui-Gon Jinn, Hurt/Comfort, Jedi Temple (Star Wars), Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Misunderstandings, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Mess, Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi, Pre-Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Protective Qui-Gon Jinn, Qui-Gon Jinn is a Good Jedi Master, Qui-Gon Jinn's A+ Parenting, Sad Obi-Wan Kenobi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 08:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29623806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfcry22/pseuds/Wolfcry22
Summary: It’s a rather simple question that Qui-Gon struggles to answer.
Relationships: Qui-Gon Jinn & Obi-Wan Kenobi
Series: Learning Curve [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198658
Comments: 3
Kudos: 81





	Are You Proud Of Me, Master?

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why I’m on this sudden Star Wars kick, but I am all about TPM timeline these days with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon since those are two of my favorite Star Wars characters and I can’t resist writing about them. I like anything to do with their relationship and exploring how mismatched they were and how they still grew to be such a strong team throughout Obi-Wan’s training despite their rocky beginning. This story will touch on that after one mission went very wrong, leaving both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan confused and frustrated how both of them may have reacted.

Weight of failure rested on a Padawan’s shoulders as he followed a taller man in front of him. The Padawan’s braid tapped against his shoulder, reminding him of the oath that he had taken when he had been given a Master. He had said it with such swiftness and determination back then, but now he was questioning everything. Was he meant to be a Jedi? Had his Master trained him out of pity? Was he destined for greatness? Or was all this a great mistaken that the Jedi Council had missed? All of the questions swirled in his mind and he doubted that any of them would ever be answered.

“Obi-Wan,” murmured the stoic man in front of him without looking back over his shoulder.

Hesitantly, Obi-Wan drew forward with his hands gripping at the ends of his tunic. It was a bad habit he had picked up that he was working on eliminating. It wasn’t becoming of a Jedi that appeared so nervous that he pulled at his own clothes to alleviate it. That was something a child would do; not a sixteen year old boy. 

He didn’t have to look up to know that he would only find disappointment lurking in his Master’s eyes. His Master was incredibly patient, but that didn’t mean that everything was forgiven nor forgotten. That was a lesson that Obi-Wan had learned the hard way and was still learning. Needless to say it was one of the toughest lessons he had ever learned and he guessed after the mishap on their latest mission together that his Master was only going to reiterate it. 

“Yes, Master Jinn,” Obi-Wan questioned with a healthy respect in his voice.

Qui-Gon glanced down at the albeit shy boy in front of him. Although Obi-Wan liked to think differently, he was still a child in Qui-Gon’s eyes. Sixteen wasn’t old enough to make life or death decisions on a daily basis in Qui-Gon’s eyes. Although he and all Padawans had been tasked with the same struggle it was Obi-Wan that often fell behind even on simple skills. It was something that Qui-Gon had sought the Council and Yoda to confide with and perhaps come up with a solution that Qui-Gon was missing. Unfortunately, their reaction was always the same. 

“Difficult it is to train one so young,” Yoda had told him sternly. “Rewarding training a Padawans is. Remember this, you must.”

Qui-Gon had been less than thrilled by this advice but had accepted it all the same. Who was he to question Master Yoda after all? 

Realizing that he had momentarily zoned out, Qui-Gon fixed his gaze back on his Padawan in front of him. He looked so much smaller when he was cowering in front of him fearfully. Although Qui-Gon had given him no reason to be fearful in his presence he was aware that the threat of being kicked out of the Jedi Order was always on Obi-Wan’s mind, especially when he messed up. Qui-Gon had never verbally told him that he would do everything in his power to keep that from happening and he guessed even if he did, Obi-Wan may not believe him. Their relationship could be rocky to say the least.

Qui-Gon breathed heavily, long hair sweeping along his shoulders and slipping forward. “I want you to head to the fresher and take a shower. It should help clear your mind.” 

Obi-Wan knew that Qui-Gon’s words held more weight than what they appeared. Clearing his mind was a time of reflection and would remind him of his shortcomings on the mission that could’ve very well gotten himself and his Master killed. The last thing that Obi-Wan wanted to do was relive that and ponder on what he could possibly had done better. It was a fairly common technique to teach Padawans to learn from their shortcomings and weaknesses, but Obi-Wan just found it unnecessary and painful. He knew what he had done wrong; why was Qui-Gon asking him to reflect on it if he remembered it perfectly? Obi-Wan would never know. 

“Master—“

“We may talk when we both clear our heads and have concise thoughts,” Qui-Gon interrupted. He hated interrupting his apprentice that sometimes avoided talking in certain emotional and overwhelming situations. However, he couldn’t deal with Obi-Wan’s excuses or explanation until he had a time to meditate on what had happened as well. 

Obi-Wan ducked his head even lower. “Yes, Master.”

Qui-Gon tipped his head ever so slightly to the door that loomed in front of them that led to their quarters. Obi-Wan quickly shuffled forward and entered the code, slipping in before Qui-Gon could say anything else to him. 

It was a generic room with minimal objects around and some cramped spaces. Obi-Wan’s room was separated from Qui-Gon’s, allowing them both to have privacy if they so desire. Between them was a modest fresher that only held towels, hygiene products, and one picture of a skyscraper on Naboo. Obi-Wan had never asked his Master where he had acquired such artwork and part of him wondered if Qui-Gon would even tell him if he asked. 

Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan headed to his room to gather a change of tunic before slipping into the fresher without a word nor a look in Qui-Gon’s direction. 

The seasoned Jedi let out a sigh when he noticed their bundle of belongings already piled slightly in the corner. He had thought it best to allow a droid to bring up their supplies from the last mission so that he and Obi-Wan could make it back to their quarters as soon as possible. Part of Qui-Gon knew that he did it for efficiency purposes, yet the other part of him told him that he did it not humiliate Obi-Wan further by having his friends see how poorly the mission had went. Obi-Wan could be insecure on the best days and Qui-Gon didn’t want to complicate it further. 

The sound of water splattering against the wall allowed Qui-Gon to relax, knowing that Obi-Wan was doing what he asked of him for once. 

That wasn’t quite fair. Obi-Wan did his best to follow each and every rule that had ever been written no matter if it was feasible or not. He didn’t understand the art of bending the rules and certainly didn’t try to figure out why Qui-Gon disobeyed the Council. Obi-Wan was extremely rigid in that respect and struggled if the plans changed. That was very unbecoming as a Jedi since missions and circumstances changed more often than they didn’t. The only predictable thing one could stick to was that everything would be unpredictable.

However, pondering how Obi-Wan saw and processed the galaxy wasn’t helping matters. If Qui-Gon truly wanted to know what happened to his apprentice he was going to ask him. 

Qui-Gon carried himself over to his room and noticed with a pang of shame that it wasn’t as orderly as a Jedi should be. He was always preaching to Obi-Wan about the importance of keeping ones space clean and organized and here he was with an unmade bed, first aid supplies strewn on the floor, and a small pile of discarded tunics in the corner. The state of his living space was atrocious and he only had until Obi-Wan finished his shower to make it immaculate again. There was no telling when fellow Jedi may stop by and it always payed to be prepared.

Once Qui-Gon found a rhythm he was able to pick up and organize everything with little trouble. He carried his robes to the laundry and even changed in the process considering that he was already adding to the laundry pile that Obi-Wan would do the following day. The first aid kit was organized and tucked back under his bed for emergencies and his bed was made to the best of his ability. Now it looked like a Jedi’s quarters. 

“Master?” 

Qui-Gon nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice behind him. He spun around to see Obi-Wan standing with short hair slick backed and a dirty tunic and robe in his arms along with his towel. He was standing almost questioningly as if he had no idea what he was supposed to do next. 

That was another thing that Qui-Gon would never understand about Obi-Wan. They went over almost the same procedure each time they returned from a mission no matter if it was celebratory or not. Yet, Obi-Wan sometimes seemed to forget and would walk around aimlessly, waiting for a prompt from Qui-Gon or until his mind took him back to exactly where he needed to go and what he needed to do.

“You can add that to the pile,” Qui-Gon instructed to the laundry box that he had placed in his closet to keep it out of the way of the living space both in his room and the main living and studying area. 

Obi-Wan momentarily hesitated before padding forward and adding his discarded clothing to the pile. He turned on his heels and looked at Qui-Gon expectantly. 

Qui-Gon had known this conversation was coming yet he hadn’t prepared for it in anyway. He had no idea where to begin or what he wanted to tell his Padawan. He was slightly disappointed but he had learned from experience that telling Obi-Wan that was a surefire way to make him shutdown. 

“Obi-Wan, come and sit with me.” Qui-Gon took a couple steps to his bed and sat on the edge, waiting patiently for Obi-Wan to join him. 

Obi-Wan looked over his shoulder questioningly before obliging. 

He was timid as usual and settled nearly at the foot of the bed; the farthest he could possibly get until he fell off the bed. He wouldn’t face his Master, instead focused on something interesting on the ceiling. 

Qui-Gon took in a deep breath as he mentally prepared himself for the conversation. “Obi-Wan, I want to talk about what happened earlier.”

Obi-Wan fought back the emotion that made his throat feel like it was closing. Whatever he did he couldn’t show the emotion of defeat and terror. If he was going to be a Jedi Master one day or even pass his trails he was going to need to step it up.

“You’re not in trouble. I want you to know that first. I just want to know what happened.” 

Although Qui-Gon’s voice was soft, there was something about it that Obi-Wan didn’t believe. He suspected this may be a trap to lure him in and then announce what he had done wrong. He knew what he had done wrong, and verbally discussing it didn’t guarantee that it wouldn’t happen again. 

“I didn’t listen to your instructions and my form was lacking in defense and—“

“Obi-Wan, yes those things may have happened but I want to know why they happened. Can you tell me that,” asked Qui-Gon hopefully. He kept his voice gentle so not to spook Obi-Wan. His apprentice had a habit of shutting down when he was questioned and embarrassed and now was no different. 

Obi-Wan blinked his eyes deliberately in an effort to concentrate. “I don’t know.”

“I think that you do.” Qui-Gon wanted Obi-Wan to come to this realization on his own so not to make it seem like he was lecturing his apprentice, especially at his age. It seemed like Obi-Wan would need a little prompting. “I feel like we’ve had this discussion before about you listening to me while following your instincts. There seems to be some disconnect between your instinct and what you end up doing. Do you listen too much to your mind do you think?”

Obi-Wan contemplated what his Master suggested to him. He didn’t want to wordlessly agree without really adding his own input, but he often struggled to find the words needed to continue a conversation. “I panicked, Master, and I know that I shouldn’t. I know that I could’ve gotten us killed and I have to get better. I just don’t know how.” 

That was something that Qui-Gon could work with. He knew that Obi-Wan wanted the same thing he did; to make him the best Jedi that he could possibly be. He put in the work—often more than the appropriate level compared to most other Padawans—yet it didn’t seem to get him anywhere. 

“Okay, we’ll get there. At least I know where we can start tomorrow.” Qui-Gon ran his hand down the side of his face. He hadn’t realized how tired he was and the weight of this conversation wasn’t helping things in the slightest. “Get some rest, my young Padawan. Hopefully we will get things figured out tomorrow.”

Obi-Wan flicked his feet forward and rolled his ankles, apprehensively tipping forward before slumping back. Words seemed to be on the tip of his tongue, unable to fully come up with the words he desperately wanted to say. This was very unbecoming of a Jedi and he knew that. However, it was almost impossible for him to assert himself even to his Master, who he generally felt comfortable around. It was sometimes that comfort that even held Obi-Wan back from saying what he meant. 

Qui-Gon expected Obi-Wan to excuse himself and scramble back to his room. However, his Padawan stayed right where he was, not moving and eyes unblinking. Qui-Gon frowned and tipped his head to the side curiously. “Is everything alright, Padawan Mine?”

Obi-Wan pursed his lips together and forced himself to look up at his Master. “Did I let you down?” 

“Did you what?” Qui-Gon wasn’t often speechless, but when it came to the words that Obi-Wan just asked, Qui-Gon found himself stunned and mildly heartbroken. 

Obi-Wan’s head dipped forward and face scrunched up in disbelief that he had even asked that. “Did I disappoint you?”

“No, young one. You didn’t disappoint me in the slightest.” The words were spoken with clear conviction and Qui-Gon hoped that Obi-Wn knew that. It unfortunately didn’t seem to be the case. “We had a rough day but we learned something. That is the most important thing.”

Obi-Wan didn’t seem to be consoled by his Master’s words no matter how genuine and gentle they were. “Master, can I ask you something else?” 

Qui-Gon could tell that Obi-Wan was hung up on whatever this question was and wouldn’t be able to rest until he did. To deny his apprentice the ability to ask was only going to make the rest of the night unbearable for both of them. Besides, Qui-Gon often enjoyed and even urged his apprentice to ask questions. What better way to learn?

“Yes, but then we have to get to sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow with class and I have to file a report on our mission.” At the mention of the past failings, Obi-Wan frowned, prompting Qui-Gon to continue speaking. “What is your question?”

Obi-Wan ran his tongue along his bottom lip. “Are you proud of me, Master?” 

Qui-Gon drew back in shock. Why would Obi-Wan even ask a question like that? Didn’t he already know the answer?

“Of course I’m proud of you, Obi-Wan. What would possess you to feel like you need to ask?” Although Qui-Gon didn’t tell Obi-Wan that he was proud of him, he had tried to give every sign that he was proud of the man that Obi-Wan was becoming. If Obi-Wan had to ask then clearly he didn’t already know it. 

Obi-Wan bashfully looked away. “I just wanted to check.” 

“I am always proud of you. Just because one mission didn’t go according to plan does not mean that it changes that. You’re still my Padawan, and I am tasked with teaching you everything that you need to know. It may take you more time for us to continue to grasp each other’s way of doing things and that isn’t your fault. One day you may have a Padawan of your own and they may ask the same question. Would you respond any differently to them than I did to you?”

It took another moment of careful consideration. Obi-Wan never said anything that he didn’t mean in at least some regard, even if he was mostly kidding. That was something that Qui-Gon really respected about his apprentice even if he didn’t quite understand everything that Obi-Wan felt and expressed. It had taken a while for Qui-Gon to realize that Obi-Wan was different than many other younglings. There had been plenty of growing pains while Qui-Gon figured out out—still were technically—but he wouldn’t ask Obi-Wan to change. Misunderstandings were imminent between anyone and that included between them.

“I would respond the same way,” Obi-Wan murmured after a minute. 

Qui-Gon was unsure whether or not Obi-Wan was just saying that or if he actually meant it. Either way, this would be something that he would ponder regardless. Perhaps a long nights worth of meditation was in his future instead of sleeping. However, that didn’t mean that Obi-Wan shouldn’t at least get some rest.

Qui-Gon rested a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder and gave it a hard squeeze, knowing that hard pressure was much better than light touch. “Get some rest. If you need me you know where to find me.” 

Obi-Wan gave a cautious dip of his head, a wiry smile playing on the corner of his mouth. He slowly rose to his feet and shuffled over to his room across the small living area. It was still within listening distance even without Qui-Gon reaching out to feel Obi-Wan through their training bond in the force. It gave Qui-Gon peace of mind to be able to sense Obi-Wan to know when he was in turmoil even if it was just in his mind. After all, Obi-Wan wasn’t an apprentice that readily vocalized his feelings, preferring to have Qui-Gon be in tune with them in the force. 

“Oh, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon mused as he leaned back on his bed with his arms folded over his chest. Obi-Wan was a difficult Padawan to break through but Qui-Gon had patience and determination that one tough mission would never be able to break.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this story and I hope that you all enjoyed it! Let me know if you want to see more stories like this or have any prompt suggestions. I’m always open for suggestions. I hope you all are staying safe and healthy!


End file.
